For a while now, my family has been on my case about getting a ‘job’ (Refer to post on being an artist). This week, an uncle and aunt of mine visited and when my uncle got the chance, just like I knew he would, he pulled my sister and I aside to talk to us about getting jobs.
I nodded in agreement throughout the conversation and even mentioned a TV station I would consider working at (I have a degree in TV and Film from uni) when he suggested some local TV stations but the truth of the matter is I have no desire to take my CV anywhere, applying for a job. Why? Refer to the statement in the image above.
I’ve actually worked at a TV station in Accra before and it sucked. Yes, it was nice to be a part of something bigger than me and the few times I got to see my name in the credits after a TV program I had directed or produced aired, were great but no experience working at that TV station can ever compare to how I feel when I’m performing on stage, rehearsing with a band or alone with my sister, or in the studio recording. Music is my main calling and after it come writing and acting. I’ve also recently decided to take plus size modeling seriously and I just signed up with a modeling agency. There are a couple other interests I have which I keep working on hoping one of them pays off soon.
In summary, life is too short for me to get a job I don’t have passion for when I could be hustling and working towards making MY dreams come true. Getting a job and a steady salary might seem convenient but some of us don’t like convenient. Some of us are ready to struggle till we get to where we really want to be than settle for convenience. I know for a fact that I would die slowly everyday working in some office for someone else. I’d rather work for myself and I’m already doing that the best way I know how. More money would be nice but money isn’t everything and I’d rather be broke but happy and content than join the rat race and dedicate most of my time to someone else’s dream for peanuts.
Any artists or entrepreneurs reading this? Share your thoughts on pressures to join the formal work force.
For those of you who aren’t aware, I’m a musician and I’m in a duo called TarandBella (I’m Tara and my younger sister is Bella). We are predominantly soul and RnB singers and for the past 8 weeks, we’ve been doing this thing every Tuesday, aptly called #TnBTuesday, where we record ourselves covering different songs and we upload the videos on our Facebook page and our YouTube channel.
This week we covered “On And On” by the awesome Erykah Badu and I think it is my favorite video thus far (watch here) because asides from the vibes of the song and Erykah which were so much fun to tap into, I really liked my look for the video too.
I wish I could take the credit but Bella actually went through looks of Erykah Badu online to get inspiration for our look and she did both our makeup for the video. I especially love the colours happening with the eyeshadow work and the black dots which ended up looking like freckles on my face.
I’m glad I get to be a woman and an artist cause I need no other excuses if I decide to do my makeup like this more often!
Omg whoever made this meme or whatever, God bless you!
I can’t stand small talk. It is a big issue for me. Yesterday I was chatting with some one and he asked me how Abuja’s weather is 😞 I’m trying to be a nicer human being so I didn’t refer him to Google though I really wanted to. Or the other day, a complete stranger who happens to be a Facebook friend asked me where I live and when I asked why he wanted to know (this private information about me that I wouldn’t just share with anyone), he said he is trying to get to know me better lol.
Maybe I’m too extra about this but asking me where I live isn’t how to get to know me better and asking about the weather in my city is not going to get me going if you’re trying to make conversation. Let’s not talk about the weather, what I had for breakfast and definitely not the oh-so-common “what are you up to now”. Instead let’s talk about our goals and dreams. About spirituality and love. About growing up and getting to know ourselves better. We could even discuss politics or current affairs. Tell me a good joke, your thoughts on how the world can become a better place and what you love about your favorite artists. These are topics that give you a window into a person’s soul.
I’d rather we don’t waste each other’s time asking shallow questions and discussing mundane topics. Life is TOO short for that.
I’m searching for something and I think I know what it is. I want it so bad but I don’t know if I’m ready for it. So I push it to the back of my mind and try to pretend I don’t want it all. But every time I see people with it, hear or read about it, the longing comes up and it almost overtakes me. Sometimes it comes with a sadness that threatens to drown me till I force myself to swim out.
I’m busy lately. I’m building up myself and I have goals to accomplish, things that are important to me. But it scares me sometimes, that I could accomplish all those things and more, become the most ideal version of myself but I still wouldn’t be happy or satisfied because I’d still be searching for that something.
With every passing day I fear that I may not find it or that I already did but I let it go.
I hope and pray that I’m wrong.
I want to be wrong.
I have to be wrong.
Every time I’m about to start a new blog post, questions like “is it worth talking about?” “Does anyone really care about this?” “Are my thoughts on the subject really organized enough to be a post?” start to pop up in my head and more times than not, I retreat and I don’t write anymore.
The questions popped up again when I started this post. But I kept going and I’m still going because I need to write. There is no topic but I keep writing cause it is soothing me. I remember this book for writers I’ve had since college and a portion of the book encourages free writing. Now I’m compelled to provide the name of the book and quote directly what it says about the benefits of free writing but getting to it right now requires too much effort. This is not over though. I will have to find that book later and share some of its wisdom just incase it helps anyone who wants to get better at writing.
And speaking of getting better at writing, I believe the book, many other writers and the general rule of things state that the more you practice, the better you become. So I guess this goes for myself and every other budding writer, the wanna-be writers, and even the great writers- keep writing so you get better at it for there is always room for improvement.
Seems like my post ended up going somewhere after all lol
In the bid to get some writing done more often than not, I have decided to do weekly photo prompts where I’m simply going to choose any of the numerous photos on my phone and write as the spirit leads. This is also a good way to save my photos I figure so it’s like killing two birds with one stone.
I absolutely love today’s picture. What really does it for me is the dog. The dog is so beautiful and it almost looks regal or maybe that’s just me.
I love the simple beauty of the shot. Their piercing eyes and the red lips (any beauty gurus who can tell what lipstick brand/ color will help me get this look? Do share please!) are divine. Then how she holds the dog and the dog’s “unlooking” swag lol 😍 Awesome.
It’s a great picture. It makes me want to take up photography seriously. It also makes me wish I had a dog again. And the red lips 👌
It just crossed my mind that this period two years ago is when I should have submitted my thesis and stage play for my Masters degree in Playwriting from the University of Ghana in Accra. Instead, I ended up applying for a year’s extension and by the time that year came around, my thesis still wasn’t ready to be submitted and though it took me another 6 months to admit it to myself, I wasn’t going to submit it because my heart was never really in it. Now this isn’t me trying to make an excuse because I’m way too Igbo (Nigerian tribe and I bring it up here cause Igbo people have a reputation for being very money-conscious) to comfortably justify “wasting” my school fees and time because my heart wasn’t in it. When I say my heart wasn’t in it, that’s just fact. I later came to realize I was doing that for my parents and not for myself but that’s a whole other post.
Back to my initial point, the one year and then some I spent trying to convince myself I was going to finish and submit my thesis, I beat myself up so many times for not having completed it in the initial time given. It was a huge sore spot for me and I carried it around like an overweight duffle bag that was weighing me down and making it hard for me to walk or even smile. I was so ashamed of myself, so sad I had let my parents down and let’s just say it was a long and painful year. I’d always prided myself on being smart and good at school even if I didn’t love it and not finishing with grad school as planned was a tough pill to swallow.
Now fast-forward to the day I realized that failing to submit my thesis and officially bag my Master’s degree did not make me a failure and I was still an intelligent human being who just happened to have a dent in an otherwise impressive academic record. I realized that even though I didn’t submit my thesis, I had emerged with a full length play on a theme I cared about, I had written at least 70% of a good thesis on the same theme (which was lots of hard work!), met new and interesting people and made some friends in the course of my study, acted my first stage play…sheesh! I was a good daughter, sister, and friend and I had grown up into a woman who was no longer okay with living a life she didn’t love. I wasn’t perfect but I wasn’t a failure either and till today, I bless the day I realized that.
It’s okay to fail as long as you don’t give up. It’s okay to fall as long as you get back up again. It’s okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them and keep moving forward. Maybe I’ll still end up finishing and submitting that thesis (that’s what I told my dad anyway) or maybe I’ll decide to do a totally different Masters degree. Maybe I’ll even decide I never want to go back to school but whatever the case, I know now that being imperfect is okay. Thank God too xxx
I’ve learned to bury hurt and regret so I can survive days in my head.
I’ve learned to bury tears cause sometimes letting them fall doesn’t change anything and you just give up your “strong woman” card.
I’ve learned to bury my deepest emotions for you cause I’m not sure you can handle their gravity and enormity.
I’ve learned to bury my thoughts so they never become words that put me at odds with people I love.
I’ve learned to bury my doubts and fears because what if I actually can do it???
I’ve learned to bury so many secrets because I would want mine buried too.
I’ve learned to bury relationships cause I would rather be alone than surround myself with people who aren’t helping my growth.
“We think about bravery as this noble virtue, where someone is supposed to keep their heads high and not let anything affect them. Someone who flies when we seem to be walking. It’s not like that. It’s like crawling. You don’t feel strong, you never do. But you just don’t want to give up.”
The above statement really speaks to me because I know all too well about this aspect of bravery. There are those days you just want to curl up into a ball because life and everything about it seem too overwhelming to deal with. It could be financial challenges, relationship drama, ill health, anything! No one is above problems and I think it is pretty amazing how you could have absolutely no strength or zeal to keep going but somehow, you still get up and keep moving.
To be honest, that’s how I have gotten where I am now. With my music, with my writing, with my personal growth as a human being, I just never stop pushing. I get frustrated, tired and sometimes I will admit I just stop trying for a time but only to take a break from the struggle and reevaluate how to deal with whatever it is. I always get back up again. I have to. I need to.
Like Timi Dakolo said to a contestant on The Voice Nigeria’s season 2, the man who fails is the man who doesn’t try again after a seeming failure. If you always get back up again, eventually you will succeed at whatever it is. It is the failure to keep trying to succeed that is true failure indeed.
Hope this inspires someone out there not to give up. I’m rooting for you!
P.s This post is inspired by “Failure” which you should check out when you can xx