I am not squeaky clean. These days, hardly anyone over twelve is. About a year ago, after graduation, I came home and I went to a service at COZA (church popularly known in Abuja) and I don’t remember so much the details of the message; what I remember is how it made me feel.
I remember tears rolled down my face as I listened and evaluated my own life. I was basically a step away from depression even though I had just accomplished something major; finishing with college! Yet I felt small, low when I should have been feeling awesome with great prospects for my future.
I made a decision that day to CHANGE. In the past year, I fall but I get back up cause I know better now. My thoughts are more positive and I feel a lightness in my heart that I haven’t felt in years. Being human, I still worry. I still doubt God’s plans for me and stress my hairs out thinking and planning. But when I remember one of my favorite verses “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, they are plans for good, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11, I pop a chill pill.
I’ve basically stepped into the light. Though it gets dim sometimes, I know what light feels like now and I’m never going back to darkness.